Right, let's set the scene.
You've played top-flight football. You've faced some of the most terrifying defenders in the country. Sliding tackles, flying elbows, probably the odd bit of gamesmanship that'd make your nan blush. You survived ALL of that.
And then, THEN, you get absolutely pancaked by a pitch roller.
A retired winger, formerly of Premier League fame, was minding his own business on a football pitch when one of those big heavy groundskeeping rollers decided it had unfinished beef with him and went straight over him. As in, the machine that flattens grass. Flattened him instead.
Now here's the bit that makes this even more unhinged, he laughed it off. Didn't kick off, didn't cry, didn't immediately ring a personal injury solicitor whose number he'd seen on a bus shelter. Just dusted himself down and had a chuckle about it like he'd walked into a glass door.
Absolute scenes.
Look, we respect the man enormously for taking it on the chin (and the ribs, and presumably the shins). Most of us would've been on the phone to our mums immediately. But there's something deeply, beautifully daft about a professional athlete, someone paid good money to NOT get hurt on a pitch, getting done over by the bloke whose job it is to maintain the thing.
The groundskeeper probably felt terrible. The roller felt nothing. It's a roller.
We just want to know: was the grass at least nice and flat after? Because if you're going out like that, the pitch better be immaculate.
Have you ever had a workplace incident more embarrassing than this? Drop it below, we need to feel better about humanity.